the next best thing to falling in love? it's realizing the fact that someone is not meant for you. so that instead of wasting ur time and rendering ur heart emotionless, u can give urself to someone else. to someone who's worth it. someone you're worthy of. and iv realized this lately lang. solid tlga. kc i never stopped thinking, imagining, and sometimes even sulking over the fact na i cant get the one i want the most. kse masakit. i thought na nothing and no one could break the curse na i thought was casted upon me by some evil and negative powers until it dawned upon me. magically and mejo "mystically" pa nga in some sense na, she's not for me! tapos! eh talagang gnon eh! may ibang tao lang na meant for others. khit gaano pa ka-pangit ung tingin mo sa relationship ng iba or khit gaano pa isipin mong ndi sila bagay, eh they were made for each other eh! pake mo? and somehow, they found each other in the sea of faces na we are all swimming in. ang galing tlga. and u know what, iv never been more secured ever since this realization. i mean, my feelings for her are not naman totally gone. exaj naman kung sbhin ko un. at napaka-galing ko naman kumalimot ng something so deep na dumaan sa buhay ko. pero, gets? at least ngayon, pag napapaisip na naman ako, meron nakong security blanket. actually ndi nga sha security blanket eh, it's an answer. an answer sent to me. and i believe tlga na this is what the world has been conspiring to tell me all along. parang, cge, fall for her. try it. it's sweet d b? it's wonderful. pero u cant have that love. u can just sample it. sample it meaning u cud feel fuzzy all over and shit pero that's just it. sample lang. the main course could be just around the corner, who knows d b? sa dami ng babae sa mundo, isa jan, bound to fall in love sayo. pwedeng pangit, bulag,bingi, may lisp, pero ultimately, when u feel it, it will hit. big tym. kay all u have to do is wait. kaya ngyon, khit madalas parn akong nalulungkot na wala akong makasama during those tyms na lahat ng friends ko may ka-hawak kamay, secure ako sa fact na magkakaroon din ako.someday.sana.i seek refuge nalang and pinipilit kong maniwala sa sinabe ng blockmate ko sakin: "niluluto pa ung sayo pare eh. pinapasarap pa.hahahaha!!!" well, i hope so. i really do. cause i have all the love to give and no one to offer it to. malungkot. pero at least i have my friends to spoil. hahaha!! without cguro these women in my life, i'd be dull. and iniisip kong the one na darating hopefully sa buhay ko ay mixture ng personalities ng mga babaeng pumapaligid sa aking ngayon. cause they're all great. and all my friends are soooo daammmnnnn luuucckkkkyyyy to have them. sana someday i can brag to them din my own!hahaha! still hoping!there's a lot of fish in the sea! all i need is the ryt bait...

puta its time somebody put some sense into this bitch, man!

people have been falling in love. solid.lalo na si ano chaka si ano.its been 3 yrs in the making man. and im so damn glad that this time, "they" are finally happening. this time, that somebody is finally letting them have the space they shouldve gotten a long time ago. as for other people, the battle has been lost. tapos na. pero lessons are learned and things are fixed no matter how perplexed, overly confusing and dramatic things have turned out to be. falling in love. puta, heavy term.pero people who are together defy what it means to fall in love. they nullify the definition. they make their own. they make falling in love mean differently through the variations that they display in their own little relationships. because falling in love, ultimately, is felt. not defined.  i used to think that love is just a hodgepodge of half-baked emotions. na you're gonna have to stick your own knife into it so you could know exactly just how raw, right or overcooked you'd want your kind of love to be. pero iv just realized na its not all about that. because falling in love or love, in general, is not a science. it is not definitive. and thats what makes it so wonderful. for some, there's pain and then that reward of finally spending time with the one who matters most. for some, there's that cruise. tipong everything's well until "they" finally become. for others naman, there's just the pain of defeat, of realizing na there's really nothing despite all the mirages of a love one thought existed. pero im sure of one thing, the best conversations are those not made. ung tipong u just sit beside each other and u both know na everything's alright. na everything will be alright.kse u're secure with one another. u need not speak flowery words para lang i-profess ung love nyo sa isa't isa. because ur warmth says it all. dramatic no? pero that's what i see. ang saya cguro ng feeling na un. imagine khit the people around you feel the love between sa inyong dalawa? that's how infectious it is, i think. and for those who have lost that quest for a love, it's all right. there are still many battles to be fought. what's important is matuto ka. fall na kung fall. pero that's life eh. u think cguro na it's fucked up pero ndi yan. right now it is. pero ndi tlga. never let go. never give up. cliche pero it's logical. kc having ghosts left behind is even worse. more than wanting to talk to her because you want her to know everything that went on during those times that she wasnt in ur life, talk to her because she's ur friend. puta, that's what matters tlga. masaya ka ba nung nawala sya? ndi d b? may pride and dignity bullshit ka nga pero wala kang peace. because you miss her. more than the the one you fell in love with, you miss her because she matters. because you used to be the type of friends who enjoyed each other's company. at least for you, d b? so you fell? you fell hard but didnt get anything. pero at least try to win her friendship back, if she lets you. kc now, ur friendship has been tested. and it could only get better. wag ka lang uli mai-in love sa kanya. cause that would be really fucked up dude. pero its aryt. its all good. dont you just wanna grab her sometimes and just tell her how much uv missed her and say sorry for how stupid uv been? kc she used to be this really good friend? y dont you do it then? kc nahihiya ka? sa kanya? sa friends nya? sa bf nya? those people would always have something to say pero what you think and more importantly how u feel is what matters. d b? u can let go of a love. even those that have been great and have made such a big impression in ur life. pero u should never let go of a good friend. kc ull miss them even more. makes sense naman di ba? falling in love- overrated? hell no. its not definitive nga eh. it doesnt fall under any category. its not a science. its having the will to stay together, the will to move on even without the things that matter to you. it's a whole lot of things put together. kaya nga love d b? cause its mystical. its great. it leaves u thinking. it leaves you hanging on. it sweeps u off ur feet. it's that oh so tender taste of sweet surrender... wait, im defining it na!hahahaha!!

this one's for all of you, in love o hindi. basta, dont think, feel.listen to what ur whole being screams at you instead of logic.

"like a moth attracted to fire, ill play in your light and succumb to your flames until im lifeless in your warmth. because there's no where else id rather be than with you. right here, right now."

 deeedums, deeedums....wla lang...junie

wooohooooo! poker!!!

-gi